Sensei Shihan wins a Karate Match

It was a cloudy afternoon in San Juan, Puerto Rico. A light spray of rain showered Sensei Shihan’s dirty karate uniform as he walked up, barefoot, to the arena stadium. The 15 lines of people leading into the stadium to buy tickets to the worldwide karate match was ridiculous, and Sensei Shihan only got past the crowd by using his taser set to 1000 volts.



Sensei Shihan was a short man, with a bald patch on his head, and a few wisps of hair on his head that he relished by gelling back. He was a cheat, a swindler, and a fraud. He was also the teacher of a karate class in the suburbs of Puerto Rico, where he “taught” students the fundamentals of karate. Occasionally, Sensei Shihan would have to resort to a drastic karate move to keep the rowdy students in line. In a previous karate class, he had executed an almost perfect side kick to a 5-year-old named Billion who had shouted, “Sensei Shihan, have you ever won a karate match in your life?”


Billion learned her lesson and didn’t question Sensei Shihan’s teaching tactics ever again, but the harsh remark stuck with Sensei Shihan, and here he was, going to prove Billion wrong.

Sensei Shihan cackled demonically as he showed the entrance guard his ID for the match and was admitted into the fighter’s chambers. He was going to be competing against 10 opponents before he could be crowned as Karate champion, and as he weighed into the match, Sensei Shihan took an inventory of his weapons. He opened his karate uniform, called gi, and took stock. Five taser refills, a crowbar, three sticks of dynamite, a katana forged in the lava of Hawaii, and finally, a bat with nails embedded in it, just like his favorite netflix character, steve from stranger things.


Sensei Shihan walked out into the arena after being weighed in at 300 pounds thanks to the arsenal of weapons hidden securely inside of his gi. He jumped into the ring, and watches his opponent, Jimmio Gazzette, carefully. Jimmio was a beast of a man, covered in long hair, and built not unlike a troll. He could smash through titanium, but had only one flaw: he was afraid of mice. Sensei Shihan grinned.


“Round 1. FIGHT!”


Sensei Shihan flew at Jimmio, who was big and slow, and bombarded him with a couple measly weak punches. There was a crack as Sensei Shihan’s fist collide with Jimmio’s bicep, and Sensei Shihan went flying backwards, screaming and swearing with pain. The swindling, good for nothing cheat had put his thumb inside of his fist, like a fool, and gone and broke it!


There was a particularly loud cheer from the crowd, and Sensei Shihan, cradling his injured thumb, gazed up the stands to see Black Bottom Leano and Julio, both his current students, clapping and hooting.


Sensei Shihan was filled with pride at the sight of his students attending his match, but that pride didn’t stop him from cheating. Sensei Shihan reached into his gi, pulled out a spare rat, and threw it at Jimmio’s feet. Jimmio had been sneaking up on Sensei Shihan, but when he caught sight of the rat, he fell back, unconscious. The referee, not willingly, raised Sensei Shahan’s hand into the air, and the crowd erupted with boos.


Fast forward through 8 matches, Sensei Shihan swiftly departed each contestant back to their home country with the use of his arsenal of weapons.


It was the last and final match. The match that would decide who would win. Sensei Shihan was covered in scratches, bruises, and four black eyes from close encounters with contestants who had realized he was just cheating scum.


“Final Round! Sensei Shihan, versus…. ALEJANDRO! FIGHT!


From the center of the ring, a small door opened up, and what could only be described as a cyborg robot came climbing from below. Sensei Shihan erupted with nervous sweat and backed up a couple of steps. Sensei Shihan had many former students, and Alejandro was one of them.


Alejandro stomped up to Sensei Shihan, pistons puffing. His eyes glowed red like the setting sun, and his body was covered in metal plates and pistons. He looked similar to Genos from one punch man, Sensei Shihan’s favorite anime.


I was your student once. Your mere punching dummy. You would use me for every demonstration, and one day you went too far. You were showing the rest of the class how do splits. You used me like a toy, and when you broke both of my legs, you threw me out like I could just be replaced.”


Sensei Shihan shuddered with fear.


“But I never forgot, and I never forgave. My body was replaced by this. I will now fight you and claim my revenge.”


Alejandro slid into his fighting stance, steam pouring from vents, and eyes glowing a dark, evil blue. Sensei Shihan shook away his fear. He would beat his former student and as his students would say, “Get this Dub”.


Alejandro burst forth with speed unmatched by anything on this earth. Sensei Shihan could only watch as Alejandro’s fist slammed into his chest. Sensei Shihan gasped, and went flying backwards into the ring netting, all of the breath gone from his chest. Alejandro stood over Sensei Shihan’s body, and grinned down.


“After all of your weapons are gone, after you are stripped of your cheats, you’re just a wimpy little man.”


Sensei Shihan grinned with his bloodied, battered face, and reached into his Gi. Sensei Shihan’s final resort, his one last trick up his sleeve, an EMP, Electro Magnetic Pulse, designed to take out any electronic equipment. Sensei Shihan slapped it onto Alejandro’s leg, and before Alejandro could react, pressed the button to activate it.


Alejandro crackled and jittered as the device corrupted his memory, hard drive, and electronic components, and he fell to the ground.


“I will have my revenge, Sensei Shihan,” he gasped as the glow from his eyes faded away. Sensei Shihan had won.

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