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Sensei Shihan Does The Splits


It was 6:30 PM, almost time for karate class to start. Sensei Shihan was nowhere to be seen, but his students were all loyally coming in.


The top students of the class, Jigglin’ Jigilian, Black-Bottomed Leano, Sensei Miguel, and Craiden stood at attention in the front of the foam mats.



Jigglin’ Jigilian was a tiny, rotund little girl of about nine years old. Her chubby face was the obvious result of jellybeans for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Jigglin’ Jigilian had a voice so shrill, it could shatter glass with one note.


Black-Bottomed Leano was a tall, thin boy who was thirteen. He proudly showcased the bottom of his uniform, black from sitting down on the dirty floor.

You probably know well about Sensei Miguel and his son, Craiden. Sweat poured from Craiden’s face. He was used to air conditioning, but the karate gym only had four fans that just blew around the hot air. The clock in the middle of the wall chimed as the hour hand clicked onto 7 o’clock. The class stiffened in fear as a large model of Sensei Shihan burst out of the top of the clock. A large block of wood stood in front of the metal model. Then, Sensei Shihan’s foot came down weakly on the block of wood, cracking it in two pieces, which fell to the floor. At the same moment, the real Sensei Shihan burst from the gym’s entrance, already wearing his karate clothes.

The students who were already in class bowed to Sensei Shihan. He grinned and slicked back the two strands of hair that hadn’t disappeared off of his head. Sensei Shihan loved to be the man in charge, there was so much power, and because he could command everyone around.


“Hoose!” Black-Bottomed Leano bowed again to Sensei Shihan. “Look what I got!” he proudly waved around a black belt that had been tied around his waist. Jigglin’ Jigilian cut in with her voice so shrill it could shatter glass.


“Get that pant’s belt off and put on your real karate clothes, Leano!”

Leano grunted with embarrassment, and shamefully walked into the changing room, his head bowed down low. Jigglin’ Jigilian smirked like a snake.


Sensei Shihan’s face split into a beaming smile. “Today we are going to do splits! Who wants to go first?” The front row of students backed up, but it was too late. Sensei Shihan easily pulled a 50-pound Craiden from the row and placed him on the floor. “Go on young boah! Show me what you can do.”


Craiden groaned in pain as Sensei Shihan pushed down his body, forcing his legs to separate. Suddenly, there was a loud CRACK, and Craiden bellowed in agony. Sensei Miguel winced as Craiden’s leg was separated from its socket. It fell away, and Craiden was left with only one leg. Sensei Shihan cackled. “Shut your mouth, boah. I remember when I was a child, I used to do splits so wide my legs would wrap around my head and touch the floor again.”


Sensei Shihan again pushed down harder. There was another ear-splitting CRACK, and Craiden’s other leg came off. Sensei Shihan grabbed Craiden’s leg-less body put him back in place with the students. He cleared the body-less legs from the mat and tossed them into the garbage bin. “Who’s next?”.

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